'Top Chef: Chicago' Episode No. 5: Jenn breaks stuff

Drama! More sparks flew in the last two minutes of tonight’s episode than we’ve seen in months. Not entirely coincidentally, tonight also marked the first time this season we didn’t agree with the judges’ decision.

Sure, Zoi underseasoned her mushrooms, but that’s nothing compared to leaving scales on a fish. Underseasoned mushrooms are boring (“not perky,” according to Tom) but far from disgusting. Fish scales are disgusting, and they can’t be ignored because, well, they’re usually sticking to the roof of your mouth and playing weird games with your tongue.

If we had a vote, it would’ve gone to Richard. We were happy to see him get taken down a notch tonight, but it should’ve gone further.

Biggest disappointment: Though another out-of-towner (Ming Tsai) was the guest judge, “Chicago’s best known chefs” reportedly catered the Meals on Wheels Chicago Celebrity Chef Ball. So where were they?

Best save: Stephanie talks Lisa down off the ledge at Whole Foods. We’re digging Stephanie’s quiet, lead-by-example style. She took Team Fire from the brink of a complete meltdown in Whole Foods to glory at the Judge’s Table. Too bad Lisa got a five-day trip to a Relais & Chateaux property in Italy for it, and she didn’t. Or, as Dale says: “She made bacon, and she gets a trip to (bleep) Italy? Are you kidding me? I’m bitter.”

Weirdest stream of consciousness: “think fire, devil, deviled eggs …” Um, sure. Probably a good thing they moved on to shrimp.

Best headgear: Spike. He may or may not have purchased that hat on the street in Guatemala. But he’s definitely the only one wearing anything like it tonight.

Most awkward exchange: Several tense Dale-Lisa moments are in competition for this honor, but Tom’s kitchen check-in with Team Water—and specifically with Richard—takes the cake.

New favorite term: “Observational negativity,” coined by Dale when describing Lisa’s interactions with her environment. Dale and Lisa clashed big time tonight—and they would’ve kept at it if Jenn hadn’t kicked a folding chair across the room to shut everybody up. We’re siding with Dale. Is there anything worse than a consummately negative colleague? OK, scaly fish, maybe. But other than that, we can’t think of much.

We were surprised to see that Dale, not Lisa, got the most text votes when Bravo put the “who’s a bigger jerk” question to viewers. (Actually, it was something more like “who deserves a spanking for being difficult.” But we know what they meant.) Are we totally off base on this one? What do you think?

We’ll rehash more drama next week. Until then, keep your fish clean and your folding chairs out of harm’s way--and don't forget to check out what The Stew has to say about this week's episode!