'Top Chef' Episode 1: Dale's tail

It's on. Local chef Dale Levitski came out with knives a-blazin' in tonight's "Top Chef" premiere. But did he make the first cut? Read on for a recap. But first, here it is by the numbers:

Mohawks: 2
"Gotta have passion" tattoos: 1
Glad commercials: 3
False testicles: 1
Arrogant, foul-mouthed New York chefs: 1
Chefs remaining: 14

SPOILER ALERT!

Here's what went down:

Within minutes of arriving, the chefs are presented with their first quick-fire challenge: create an amuse bouche using only ingredients from the buffet they've been grazing while getting acquainted.

Our boy Dale whips up an amuse of beef tenderloin wrapped with blue cheese, grape and sliced radish. Apparently having a Chicago-inspired W.W.G.D. (What Would Grant Do?) moment, he presents it on an herbed utensil.

Kindly, Tom says nothing about the awkward sprig of rosemary wrapped around the fork. He does, however, proclaim Dale's choice of blue cheese "a little too aggressive for a first bite." Dale lands in the bottom three. He's never really at risk, though: We knew the moment we saw Clay's disaster-in-a-Granny-Smith-apple that the sweet but in-over-his-head Southerner would spare everyone else the humiliation of finishing last in the season's first quick-fire challenge.

The gang heads off to check out their fabulous digs at the Fountainbleau. Ooh, ahh. Season 3 is set in Miami.

Next morning, everyone gathers in what we will likely refer to as the Kenmore Pro Kitchen several times throughout this season. But this is not the Kenmore Pro Kitchen. Someone has slipped in and replaced all of the Kenmore appliances with GE Monogram hardware.

In the GE Monogram Kitchen, the chefs learn that they will be working with exotic proteins-geoduck, black chicken, abalone, eel and the like. They'll choose what they'll work with based on the numbered knives they draw.

Dale draws knife No. 15. There are 15 contestants. Things do not look good for our hometown hero.

Dale ends up with alligator tail and monkfish liver. We learn he has tasted neither before. No, things do not look good at all. But Dale keeps his wits about him and digs in.

The usual amount of chopping, dicing, searing, frying and nerve-wracking Colicchio walk-throughs ensues.

Dale emerges with a dish of mustard-seared alligator tail and monkfish liver braised with apple hash. There's a sherry vinegar gastrique, and an olive-oil poached shallot and leek salad on top.

Gail thinks the alligator is super tough. No one else says much about Dale's dish; they're busy raving about Hung's dish and Tre's dish. And no one is terribly surprised when Tre wins the round, an achievement that garners him a stack of guest judge Anthony Bourdain's books and the promise of a night of yakitori and hard drinkin' the next time they're both in New York.

Now it's time for the loser's procession. Dale finds himself in front of the judge's table with Brian, who committed the dual sins of frying his lovely eel and leaving part of his dish back in the GE Kitchen; Howie, who left more than just part of his dish back in the GE Kitchen; and Clay, of the aforementioned quick-fire challenge apple disaster.

Tom scolds Dale for serving chewy alligator. (C'mon Dale! What's with the rookie mistake? Everyone knows you can't cook alligator tail medium rare!) Bourdain reprimands him for trying to cruise through the first challenge by not being the worst.

In the end, that tactic works. Clay, whose dish Bourdain eloquently compares to something one might be served in economy class on an Air Cambodia flight, is the worst. And that, of course, means Dale can't be the worst.

Padma asks Clay to pack his knives and go, and he does.

Frankly, we're surprised at Dale's rather poor showing tonight. Granted, he didn't get any breaks, but we were expecting to be wowed. Instead, we got chewy alligator.

If Dale wants to hang with the big boys-so far, that's looking like Hung and Tre- he's going to have to step it up. We have no doubt he can ... but does he have what it takes to go all the way? And if not Dale, who?

That's all for this week. If you're still hungry for more "Top Chef" scoop, check out what our friends over at The Stew are saying about tonight's episode.